Well first you have to pick out your favorite flavor of doritos. I prefer cool ranch but everybody’s different. Put it in a bag…well i guess it comes in a bag. Then mash it up. I don’t care enough. Then you’re gonna want to get your mayonnaise ready. Put the doritos in a big bowl and dump a can of diced tomatoes in there. Pour your mayonnaise on top. Basically you’re gonna have a spatula and just mash it around until it’s the consistency you like. I like it to be the color of the original doritos but you can really go crazy with the mayo and make it all white. Then take a head of lettuce, peel off some layers and spread them on a platter in an attractive way (subjective). Just sort of pour the salad onto the bed of lettuce (right?). Garnish with shrimp cocktail shrimp or popcorn shrimp if it’s for kids. This should serve at least one. Or two.